January saw me signed off on medical leave due to the previous Fall's rapid and steady increase in dibilitating migraines. The repeated absences from work combined with the medical uncertainty made is prudent to take time off until things could be sorted out. The long awaited neurology appointment resulted in starting both a vitamin regime of B2, Magnesium Citrate, Omega and Vit D. as well as a prescribed preventative medication. By mid February I was actively suicidal in ways I have never before experienced. With a lot of 24/7 support from my friends I was able to avoid hospitilazation and get the offender out of my blood stream.
The med chaos in my brain subsequently destroyed the previous balance of my existing bipolar medication. All hell broke loose.
It was a long long wait to see a psychiatrist to get a reboot for my brain. In May, I started on new meds, continuing to be off work due to the previous instability. We continue to tweak meds even now, but there's been a solid respite from the migraines (down to about 1 every 3 months instead of every 3 days).
Work - cut me off financially in March (with no notice) this was appealed through the Union and I recieved a settlement. I was approved for LongTerm Disability through my employer in July.
The summertime saw me prepping my condo for sale as I anticipate more financial challenges as I continue to assess the likelihood of being able to return to my job given the ongoing stress it creates in my emotionally and cognitivally.
With the unit sold in July, I prepared to move for Sept 1st. Given the chaos of my world, my still manic/unbalanced brain, I am now unhappy with the choice of apartment, but I remain aware that I made the best decision I could from the space I was in at the time.
I took on a play partner to meet some needs in June, and that relationship continues to keep some other potentially extreme behaviours under control.
My brother was in a severe car accident in mid-August and died on the roadside. It has shaken the family and he leaves behind 2 new grandbabies. I moved September 1st. My father was in a severe motorbike accident in mid September and died.
My friends, my family of choice stepped in immediately. There were cats to take care of and a me to get travelled around Ontario to deal with everything from attending services to cleaning out a house. I truly saw the blessings in my world as I walked through the grief and terror and shock of losing family so close together. My father and I had just been rebuilding our rocky relationship slowly and that's a journey of grief that I'm sure I will be travelling for a while.
On the other side of life - I took more time for me this year...going South on a cruise in late April, then going to Cozumel for a week after my dad passed. More recently I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to travel to St. Thomas in early December. During my weeks away, the ex was supportive and encouraging of my need for self-care and my friends - once again - stepped in for pet duty and furniture assembly!!
It's been a rocky year that I'm pleased to see the last of.
This year will bring more attention to my vivofit... assessing the desire to renew some and acquire more acquaintance type relationships....clearning out and tackling some ACOA issues (likely a meeting or two)... and continuing on working with my primary care providers around my physical and mental well being. I hope to spend some time examinig career options and determining where I'm supposed to be next.
I plan to continue to travel south (the light and ocean are good for me)
And I plan to journal once daily. (we'll see how long that lasts)
Welcome back world, welcome New Year.