K has a friend across the street. She's older than K, but again I'm seeing the same dramatic swings of love/hate, dominance/submission with this girl that I watched with her other friends all the way back to her first day care. Let's see if I can record them right.
There was Patrick - who regularly pushed her off the fire truck but was the ONLY person she wanted to invite to her birthday party. That was the reptile party, not sure if that was her 3rd or 4th party. 4th I believe.
There was Carley - who was alternately mean to her (by K's statements) and K worshipped the ground she walked on. I still hear about the things Carley has taught her.
There is Rowan - these two trade off with who's in charge in their relationship and who calls the shots. Sometimes one of them will storm off in a huff, and they have to play separately for a bit. Generally they work things out but man, the DRAMA!!
Now there is B - across the street. On the blackboard, from Thursday and it's attendant drama , is "I HATE B****".
B was with us from after school friday to after 5:00pm and there was no problem! They played well.
I discussed with B's mother today, looking after K when I go back to work and K was THRILLED.
Today she was very excited to go over and spend time with her. After about an hour and a bit, she came STORMING back with tales of how she "didn't want to be in that situation" and "so I left". There were bits of the other girl "told me to leave" and a myriad of arguements. As she talked, the story changed.
I told her friendships are hard and it's ok if they need a break right now. She said "I hate her' and took the christmas card she had JUST written and hid it, saying "she may never get it."
About 15 min later, my phone rang. B called to talk to K. K took the phone upstairs and came back down with the card saying she was going over to B's house "RIGHT NOW, cause she had to eat 5 muffins and B had to eat 5 muffins". I told her that was fine.
These two children have STRONG personalities, and very different strengths for independance, time management and have clearly been parented differently. They grate on each other at times, but sometimes can't stand to be apart. They are both basically only children and seek companionship, comfort and challenge from each other.
I can't help but sometimes be reminded by what I remember of my own friendships of childhood, and even the relationships I have today at times. Learning to assert yourself, negotiate boundaries, and share stregnths is a difficult thing in any relationship.