locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
Parenting is both a delight and a challenge, as well as an interesting way of studying the evolution of relationships.

K has a friend across the street. She's older than K, but again I'm seeing the same dramatic swings of love/hate, dominance/submission with this girl that I watched with her other friends all the way back to her first day care. Let's see if I can record them right.

There was Patrick - who regularly pushed her off the fire truck but was the ONLY person she wanted to invite to her birthday party. That was the reptile party, not sure if that was her 3rd or 4th party. 4th I believe.

There was Carley - who was alternately mean to her (by K's statements) and K worshipped the ground she walked on. I still hear about the things Carley has taught her.

There is Rowan - these two trade off with who's in charge in their relationship and who calls the shots. Sometimes one of them will storm off in a huff, and they have to play separately for a bit. Generally they work things out but man, the DRAMA!!

Now there is B - across the street. On the blackboard, from Thursday and it's attendant drama , is "I HATE B****".
B was with us from after school friday to after 5:00pm and there was no problem! They played well.
I discussed with B's mother today, looking after K when I go back to work and K was THRILLED.
Today she was very excited to go over and spend time with her. After about an hour and a bit, she came STORMING back with tales of how she "didn't want to be in that situation" and "so I left". There were bits of the other girl "told me to leave" and a myriad of arguements. As she talked, the story changed.
I told her friendships are hard and it's ok if they need a break right now. She said "I hate her' and took the christmas card she had JUST written and hid it, saying "she may never get it."

About 15 min later, my phone rang. B called to talk to K. K took the phone upstairs and came back down with the card saying she was going over to B's house "RIGHT NOW, cause she had to eat 5 muffins and B had to eat 5 muffins". I told her that was fine.

These two children have STRONG personalities, and very different strengths for independance, time management and have clearly been parented differently. They grate on each other at times, but sometimes can't stand to be apart. They are both basically only children and seek companionship, comfort and challenge from each other.

I can't help but sometimes be reminded by what I remember of my own friendships of childhood, and even the relationships I have today at times. Learning to assert yourself, negotiate boundaries, and share stregnths is a difficult thing in any relationship.
locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
So K, had a sleep over with her hyper friend D. The plan was to keep them up late and they'd sleep in...

Ya huh! Not so much!

6am I have to little girls snuggling into me, one on each side whispering "paaaannnnncaaaaakkkkeeeesssss".

I manage a half hour more or so of them nudging me every time I started to snore, before I banished them to Saturday morning cartoons!

By 8am we have pancakes, with fresh strawberries and raspberries on top, and I make MEAN pancakes if I do say so, myself!

Not sure what the day will bring, depends on if it clears! If it does, we are likely headed to KIDSFEST in Guelph, and to Bulldog Interactive Fitness where I'd like to send K for a week of summer camp.

If it doesn' will become, find the kitchen, laundry, sweep and mop day...hopefully with a movie and a NAP thrown in for good measure.

Have a good day all!

My Luck

Dec. 1st, 2008 05:29 pm
locus_ofcontro: (Default)

my luck is such that on the day I'm to go back to work, after 3 days of vacation that I take Katina to the walk-in clinic, and now have to keep her home for a few days.

Here's how that works:

At the beginning of last week,she helped me make a batch of chili. She's gotten good at opening cans and was opening the cans of tomatoes and kidney beans.  Unbeknownst to me, she got an itch on her chin, that she decided to scratch with the lid of one of the cans, resulting in a small scratch.

The scratch looked like small scab on Tuesday when she went with her dad to St. Louis.  Last night, when I saw her in the car seat, I almost fell over.  The scratch was now about the size of a twonie crossing one side of her mouth, and moving down the chin.  It was yellowish and brown coloured with obvious red underneath. And apparantly this was an improvement!!!   We cleaned it well last night, and she slept for many hours after a busy active week!! 

This morning, it still looked very ugly and so off to the clinic we go.  IMPETIGO was the verdict.  The Dr. was some concerned about the oozing and said no school for at least 4 days!!  Oral anti-biotics, and topical ones prescribed.  She is contagious (which is just what I need given my skin issues!!!!), and has to be away until the sore stops oozing.  When we got home from the clinic, we soaked the worst of the scabbing off, and applied the topical anti-biotic.  It already looks a world better.  I'm hoping to get away with only keeping her home a couple of days.

zagatto has managed to adjust his schedule to help me out, so I won't miss too much work, which is awesome as always.  And he'll make sure he lets all the other kids, K was hanging out with last week, know just in case!!!

Meanwhile, she's bored silly, watching way too much TV ...and bugging "mommy" to do something with her besides work.!! 

Ah well, it's given me time to do more laundry...!!!


Home today

Nov. 5th, 2008 06:33 am
locus_ofcontro: (Work)
The kidlet landed in my bed last night...coughing and coughing...

Result: no sleep for me, and little for her.

It's a home sick day for her, and I'll try to get what work done that I can....wish me luck!
locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
Plan: make butter chicken with the thawed chicken and left over rice...

Thwarted: child insists with tears that she is cooking and butter chicken is yuck....

negotiation: butter chicken in freezer for next week, her dinner concotion tonight...

I swear, my mother may have had something in stiffling my personality as a child!!
locus_ofcontro: (RANTING)
I am having issues with the kidlet taking me seriously when it comes to the state of her room. Even with me there, asking and guiding and helping, she refuses to listen. Her one task this afternoon has been to put her books back on her bookshelf.

Therefore, I have commited that when she gets home from School on tuesday, there will only be her bed, the empty desk, empty toy bin and empty dollhouse remaining in her room. She will be able to earn her stuff back in pieces and when it has an assigned place.

I'm wondering if someone or two on my FLIST would be willing to come assist me, and if anyone has some storage space I can borrow for about a month, while we work through bringing her stuff back in pieces. I'm afraid if I keep it here, I will cave.

[ profile] sexahlilthing I am looking at you!!! [ profile] persephoneplace got any more of those boxes?


Jul. 6th, 2008 08:40 am
locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
I was looking after the kidlets last night.... They outlasted me by several hours!!!

Though having the wee one fall asleep on me was the most delightful sensation, and chatting with her folks at 2am on the front porch giggling was nice, I'm gonna pay for it this week.

Sorry to all that hoped to see me at the BBQ, but I simply couldn't have after the day/evening with the girls!!!

Today, involves some park time, hopefully putting up curtains in Kat's room, and even more hopefully SLEEP.
locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
Last night I tucked K into bed, went and switched over laundry and came back to check on her. I know she likes to read after she's tucked in, and I ususally have to say at least ONCE, it's bedtime. Last night, I was surprised to find her completely buried under her blankets. Well, I know she can't read that way, I know she doesn't sleep that way, I AM the mom!!!!. So I pulled the blankets back to find my wee one in her bed with her Nintendo DS. Uh huh. The DS that stays on the desk in mommy's room!!

I took it away from her and said she'd lost if for a week. ( I acknowledge a week to be too long, and this did change, I CAN be reasonable but was surprised!).

After I left the room, that child SOBBED so loud, I finally went back to ask what was wrong. She told me she was practicing and HAS to practice because she is always behind E & Z when they play together. Then she tells me that THEY get to practice under their blankets in bed (shout out to [ profile] zagatto, I don't believe her!!) So I agreed that practice is important. She tells me that she thinks about practicing then gets distracted and finds something else to do, and doesn't practice. I told her perhaps I could help her by suggesting good times to practice. She liked that idea and insisted that we start the next morning. Uh..NO, mommy said gently. You still did something wrong, you knew you couldn't have it in bed and were sneaky about taking it from my room. How about we start on FRIDAY. She tries to negotiate. Thursday? no Friday?..>Saturday mommy? Well, sure, Saturday is after Friday but if you insist!! NO...FRIDAY... Ok honey, you can have your DS back on Friday and I'll help you find good times to practice. DO I go to daddy's house this weekend, I have to practice before I go that won't give me time.!!!!!!! MORE sobs!! No honey, you are home with me, and you can have some practice time during our time together.

Whew, my daughter wants to practice a game so she doesnt' feel like she always loses. I recognize that competitive streak. I also recognize the challenge between prioritizing practicing, and doing other things that are important in the moment. WOW...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.


Mar. 16th, 2008 01:21 pm
locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
I went to the shower.

I came out to find my daughter has handcuffed her ankles together...

Oy vey!!!
locus_ofcontro: (RANTING)
I have depression and a very poor idea of what that looked like for me as a child.

And I have a 5year old. Who when she's like she was tonight...sounds a lot like what goes on in my head when I haven't taken my meds.

Hearing a 5 year old child say "no one loves me, tomorrow will be a bad day too because today was a bad day, my head gets all full of mad and I don't know what to do"...these are things I have heard in my own adult head. I can manage those thoughts and know them for the messed up chemical bits that they are in my brain and know it's time to adjust my meds....she's 5.

How do I explain to a 5 year old....How do I's the same and not the stress and anxiety of just being a child...

How do I help my OWN child?

**gah...I'm having a want...all the research out there is locked behind journals!!! MUST find time to hit up the university.**


Jan. 22nd, 2008 10:04 pm
locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
My daughter told me tonight she's going to be an astronaught. She said she'd come back to earth to visit her daddy and me (if I'm still alive).

She talked about the aliens she is going to meet and that she's going to travel on the "gaseous" planets...

I told her I'd like to travel in space too. And she said.. >Well then, mom you'll have to come with me.

I said there's a lot we have to do before we can go be astronaughts...

she PACK!!!!
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
My head is BUSY...I must find writing time.

Purple lollypops make you run faster.

Almost 4 hours to get there, just over 1 hr to get home.

My dad is a cantakerous drunk.

My cousins spouses are pretty cool, so are most of my cousins.

Rain, is just rain.

Driving during an anxiety

K asks 20 questions to keep from falling asleep.

4 pools, in 1 day = exhaustion

GIGGLES in the morning.

*please PTB let me get sleep*
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
I'd like to request that I re-start this vacation day, with the added ability to FINISH sleeping through the sleeping pill effects in order to  wake up feeling rested and not groggy.

I figure if I can re-do that, the rest should be fairly easy.  NOT having to fight with K about wearing her "summer weddings' dress to school, NOT having to argue with K about eating her breakfast and NOT having to argue with K about getting in the damn car to go to school.

If I can do that, then I could have showered BEFORE the home appraiser got here.

*sigh*  I'm shifting gears, really I am.  NEW PLAN (just to prove I can, indeed, be flexible).

I'm going to go shower now, call up [personal profile] trinshadow , go there and get the scoop on picking up my 2nd child this afternoon.  Come back, do some cleaning (mostly basement & cat stuff), go pick up 2nd child, pick up my own child, and depending on the time, MAYBE going to a work goodbye party for a colleague in Guelph.  Returning to have dinner (which is ham/potatoe/creamcheese soup and in the crock pot) with [profile] knotty_mark and possibly [profile] zagatto if he's interested.  Turning all this into a low-key evening, that may or may not involve a meditative state of zen and possibly a movie.

*sigh*  Guess that means shower   ....  Now.
locus_ofcontro: (Boring Update)
I feel better...the odd fever comes over me...and lots of muscle aches, especially in my neck, but the drugs are clearly doing their job.

Took K into the Dr.'s. She has been up the past two nights coughing and claims no problems with her ankle this morning. Dr gave her anti-biotics for the cough and I got her to admit (over lunch) that she really just wanted a day with mommy.

So, we're having a day. I'm gonna help her clean her room (which is SCARY) and cuddle and watch movies.

I've taken ibuprofen for my head & body aches and ate my first proper meal again today. Work has only called once.

Got email from the Great Grandma saying to come on down to K-Town to the trailer on the long July weekend. Hurray...this will facilitate both the date and some time with [ profile] lickerishwhip.

Tomorrow is day tripping to Melee, possibly with [ profile] trinshadow in tow to keep me sane, and make sure I LEAVE at a reasonable hour. Course having K with me will contribute to that as well.

Sunday is The Gig (hopefully) and hang out time, possibly at a park with [ profile] hotcabanasauce, IF I get my carpets vacummed between now and then!!!
locus_ofcontro: (Faith and Rants)
I'm feeling up to going to work...TIRED cause K has been up A LOT over the course of the night. I spent most of it rubbing her ankle. My throat is sore but not intrusive.
I'm looking for votes..

Never mind. I know what I have to do.

I'm home again. My child needs to see a Doctor today about the ankle if nothing else. 4 days on my time card SICK days and today as a Family Day. I get 5 a year, and this is #2 I think I will have used.

But I feel better. Maybe I can also get some of the house cleaned up a bit. Thank GOD I wasn't receiving new files this week.
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
I've slept on and off all day, much to the joy of K who indulged in "Magic Schoolbus" among other things.  Including heading outside to play with the neighbour while mommy slept.

Can you say "lack of supervision"?

[personal profile] persephoneplace brought me more drugs at lunch time.  Hurray for Neo-Citran!!

My skin is damp and sweaty and for this second I feel like the fever could be broken.  Wish me luck.

Sick Day??

Jun. 11th, 2007 05:54 am
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
2 doses of Neo-Citran last night to get me any sleep at all.

Throat STILL feels terrible, but I can move.  Perhaps a hot shower, then I'll decide. 

Responsible me, says "don't take the virus to work" on the one hand, the other says "have work to do".  I don't believe there is anything on my dayplanner for the day other than unscheduled Home visits to track down my avoiders.

I think it's a shower, then back to bed day.  Someone want to come be the parent?

Rough Day

Jun. 10th, 2007 09:29 pm
locus_ofcontro: (Work)
Plans last night got cancelled because of emotional meltdown child's request to "just go home."  So we did.

Today, I understand where she was at.  This is one of those days where someone else simply needs to be the parent.  Between the Plan B I had to take, and this cold that's settling in, I have felt like H-E double L all day.  K & I have had some significant meltdowns together, most ending with us crying on separate floors until we can again be reasonable with each other.

My throat is sore, my muscles have the BAD ACHE of a virus settling into them and ALL of them are sore with it.  I'm emotional and cranky, and just told my dad about the big D.

Damn.  I am SO not going to work tomorrow if I feel like this.

Taking my sorry butt to bed, and we'll see what the sunrise brings.
locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
Hrm...the day started slowly. With K wandering in around 8am to crawl into bed with me for a snuggle. We talked about getting ready to go to church.

I think we talked with her daddy on the WebCam for a bit before I headed to the shower. She picked out my clothes for the day. Black Pants, Black Velvet Top, underwear and striped multi-coloured TOE socks!!! I added a bra and bright blue short sleeve shirt under the black velvet and was set.

Off we went. K wanted park time, so she ran off there and I drove the car up to pick her up. She picked a whole handful of dandylions for me.

A trip through the drive through for a cookie and a coffee, then over to the GIG. They have a new room for the "giggles" that I didn't konw about so K was with me for the first little bit. There was talk about mother's and images playing which she liked. Then a music video of a little girl and her mother arguing about being the perfect family, it made me sad. At the end of the video, K turned around in her seat and said "I love you mommy," and pursed her lips for a kiss.

We headed back to the coffee table as it was getting boring for her, and someone told us there were other kids in the giggles room and took us down there. I gave her a hug and went to enjoy the "sermon."

The talk was about "love relationships" and the influence our parents have on them. They talked about "a man leaves his family, cleaves with his wife and they become one" as 3 separate things. I really took home, the part of "leaving the family." A recent discussion about the baggage we get from our parents that impacts our current love relationships really emphasized to me how much we bring forward from our past. The couples (it was the 2 pastors and their wives" leading the talk, shared how hard it sometimes was for them to realize when they were acting as their parents would and not within the relationship THEY have chosen to have... It was interesting. As ever, a trip to the GIG both inspires me and depresses me!! I'm inspired to make change and depressed that I have not made all of them yet... *sigh*

From the GIG, we collected [ profile] k_calypso, and off to Canadian Tire for my mom's day gift to the household!! I bought pretty dishes!! I had a rain check from when they were on sale and so that was happy making. We got home, K & [ profile] k_calypso played in the park, while I sorted out an upset stomach...

Then K settled into a movie (POM POKO again), and the painting began in earnest. I know have no more green hallways. The laundry room and insides of closets are all that remain of that horrendous colour!! Around 3pm, K was downstairs sobbing... I investigated only to find that she was hungry... SO we had lunch.

After painting, we three walked to the "big park" with the BEAMO. A spirited game was begun and joined by other random park enthusiasists...then it was a wander home to make supper. [ profile] k_calypso made a brilliant salad (with dressing) while K put the flyers in a bag for recycling. I tackled the grilling of Pork Chops. A candelight "rotic" (romantic without the man) dinner was had!!! Then dishes and off to DQ for a treat.

I had promised K she could sleep in my bed last night, but she walked in the door and stumbled to her bed. I pulled the blankets up over her and it was the end of our mother's day. *smile*
locus_ofcontro: (Kids)
Course I don't dream!!

I'm glad I crashed out when I did. There were 3 separate visits from the dreamer each one increasingly distressful. K is now still snuggled in my bed where she finally ended up.

How do you deal with a 5 year old who wakes up crying that she doesn't want everyone to die?


locus_ofcontro: (Default)

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