In Need

Oct. 5th, 2008 10:12 am
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
Kat is per usual, it's a bad time. I have to run out and groceries for the week.

If someone feels up to it, I'm in need of someone to hang here and keep an eye on her while I run out for groceries!

I'll feed you !! I'm hoping to make a pork roast!

If you are game, please give me a call....

Kat is low key and settled into TV.


May. 9th, 2008 06:54 am
locus_ofcontro: (Work)
I worked til almost 6 last night.

I woke today in a full anxiety attack...tremors, racing heart the whole deal....

Chiro appt at 7:30am.

Hopefully that will help with the calms....

I'm gonna try working....if I can't settle the anxiety...

I'm leaving and coming home sick.  I'm not safe on the roads and with clients when I'm this shakey...

Friggin' sleep  
locus_ofcontro: (RANTING)
I have had no problems sleeping in several days, course I've taken my sleeping pills like a good wee girl, until tonight. I have been off work since Wed afternoon and tomorrow I go back.

My head is FULL of stuff. I can't settle down, I keep running through my head. Even to the point that I am having conversations about the reasons some stuff on the lists are not done. I KNOW what my dayplanner looks like for tomorrow...hell for THIS WEEK...and my shoulders are knotted and I want to cry just thinking about it. I wonder if this is the stuff that "stress leave" makes.... I've been FINE damnit.!!! Today I've been exceptionally cranky...and now just can NOT shut my brain down.

There's a rant/diatribe brewing in my mind as well....about who I am as a person and how I walk the line between worker and friend sometimes. Seems there are people on my flist and in my world in general who don't get that.

I purchased a new computer system today. I should have it before the middle of the week. BTW...This is what I bought. I'm all excited.

Currently, weeboy is whining a bit. I'm scared to go to him, in case I make it worse. Adapting to the household setup, family set up is proving...challenging for all of us. I may have to learn to play scrabble... I got my butt whooooooped!!

I am doing a lot of "paper journal" writing...mostly cause I have been offline and can carry that one with me. Bah...time to try to sleep again.
locus_ofcontro: (Work)
October 9, 2007 Alone Time
Virgo Daily Horoscope

You may find that you want to be alone today in order to sort through your feelings. Perhaps you are feeling more emotional and would like some time away from the world to decompress and get grounded. If you find that your responsibilities and the people in your life are calling on you to be available to them, now is the perfect time to practice saying “No.” It can be easy to feel like our feelings and our personal process don’t merit our attention. The truth is that unless we are centered, it is impossible for us to be grounded as we deal with the rest of the world. Today may be the perfect opportunity to spend time at home alone and be with your thoughts. You may want to journal or meditate today.

Our alone time is time we spend with ourselves. Just as we must nurture our relationships with others and tend to our responsibilities, we must also cultivate our relationship with ourselves. The world tends to reflect the way we feel about ourselves. If we are unwilling to give ourselves our full attention, it is unlikely that we will find the attention we crave from others. When you are alone, you can hear your thoughts without distraction and take care of yourself in ways that you aren’t able to when you are with other people. Spend time with yourself today, and you’ll be able to sort through your feelings and rediscover your equilibrium.
locus_ofcontro: (Boring Update)
I haven't put any thought at all into a real update for a while...Let's see...

Still trying to sort out finances for the house and if I'm gonna be able to get a mortgage on my own. I have a lead on that, I just need the energy and daytime hours to make a couple of calls to follow that up.

Still dating [ profile] curgoth, when our schedules are mutually amendable to time together.

Still "dating", "seeing", being "friends with benefits" or whatever you want to call it, with BFHS. There's something there, but without a coherent lable to it at this point. Regular phone and IM contact, not to mention opportunities in person...suggest that there's something. Oh, and I met the kids on Sunday which was...awkward at times, but ...interesting as well. More about that whole thing behind a filter when I get time in my head to really think clearly.

Still NOT sleeping well, and have a rash, and an intermittent fever to boot, now. And an appt with my Family Dr. tomorrow to assess if this is stress induced or medically whatever...If it's stress, I'm seriously gonna consider my options....this is getting ridiculous. I can't hardly think straight and I worry myself when I am driving....mostly to work!!

Still experiencing some heavy anxiety at times, around work predominently and the whole response in me is fairly reminiscent of when I was working the contract in London...a job I ended up quiting within 2 days of returning from a vacation (to Pennsic_of all places.) I haven't started dancing when I wake up at 3am though, I expect I'm not far off from that.

So that's what you get for now. I have no child to care for this week, so I'm hoping to recharge, clean up some stuff around here, maybe get rid of a few boxes of stuff or at least sort through some stuff to get rid of...I dunno.

Oh...and on another note, I'm dusting off some old skills regarding energy use, and spell feels right.
locus_ofcontro: (Work)
Spent most of today working on court papers...and didn't get very far...brought stuff home to work on them here...

Instead, I got a few groceries, made supper, cleaned K's room, my room & the office, K & I vacuumed the upstairs, folded one load of laundry & put another in the washer.

oh...AND dealt with no less than 3 drama queen meltdown's.....

Now it's off to bed, to bed...I can't even see straight...

SURE ...I get approval to do 2 hrs of overtime tonight and can't even see straight to act on it!!!


locus_ofcontro: (Default)

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