locus_ofcontro: (Shiny Black)
locus_ofcontrol ([personal profile] locus_ofcontro) wrote2005-08-09 08:42 pm

Ancient Updates?

I have not posted here in ages I think. I spend lots of time being tired. I think it has a lot to do with how much my brain is turned on. I am thinking ALL THE TIME. For me, for others.... I keep trying to process my own crap in the background, but I just don't have the resources left.

I need to make finding a family doctor a priority. It's been a long time since I had a proper chic check up. Not to mention bloodwork. [Bad username or site: zagatto's @ livejournal.com] benefits start this month and mine start in November. I am overdue for a medical overhaul. I want to see if my lack of libido has any kind of physical root that I am unaware of. I know how irritating my disinterest can be and is. Any interest I have feels so forced any more.

One of the things I value most in my relationship is our willingness to communicate and discover things all the time about our lovely dysfunctional patterns. For example, we both admit to getting energy and enjoyment from time with friends, yet somehow scheduling time with friends never seems to be a priority. True, part of that challenge is the definition of "friends" and the many that we have that play lip service to the word without being able to make a time committment to serve the intent. That gets frustrating. And we both acknowledge our own lacks in this department. I don't typically use the phone, and now that I am so severely limitting my computer time, I am totally losing touch with some people. That sucks. And I need to take some action to resolve it.

Today was an impromptu day home. Child was quite ill, it seems to have passed. Friday sounds like a forced day off. I have too many hours of over time (1/2 hr here and there has added up pretty quickly) and our staffing level is getting back to normal so I can take back some of the extra. I am learning SO much at work. My brain is tired. My back needs some work too....

If anyone has a flogger that needs some shoulders.......do let me know.