New Year

Jan. 1st, 2015 10:54 am
locus_ofcontro: (Faith and Rants)
2014 was a particularly trying year.
January saw me signed off on medical leave due to the previous Fall's rapid and steady increase in dibilitating migraines.  The repeated absences from work combined with the medical uncertainty made is prudent to take time off until things could be sorted out.  The long awaited neurology appointment resulted in starting both a vitamin regime of B2, Magnesium Citrate, Omega and Vit D. as well as a prescribed preventative medication.  By mid February I was actively suicidal in ways I have never before experienced.  With a lot of 24/7 support from my friends I was able to avoid hospitilazation and get the offender out of my blood stream.
The med chaos in my brain subsequently destroyed the previous balance of my existing bipolar medication.  All hell broke loose.

It was a long long wait to see a psychiatrist to get a reboot for my brain.  In May, I started on new meds, continuing to be off work due to the previous instability.  We continue to tweak meds even now, but there's been a solid respite from the migraines (down to about 1 every 3 months instead of every 3 days).

Work - cut me off financially in March (with no notice) this was appealed through the Union and I recieved a settlement.  I was approved for LongTerm Disability through my employer in July.

The summertime saw me prepping my condo for sale as I anticipate more financial challenges as I continue to assess the likelihood of being able to return to my job given the ongoing stress it creates in my emotionally and cognitivally.

With the unit sold in July, I prepared to move for Sept 1st.  Given the chaos of my world, my still manic/unbalanced brain, I am now unhappy with the choice of apartment, but I remain aware that I made the best decision I could from the space I was in at the time.

I took on a play partner to meet some needs in June, and that relationship continues to keep some other potentially extreme behaviours under control.

My brother was in a severe car accident in mid-August and died on the roadside.  It has shaken the family and he leaves behind 2 new grandbabies.  I moved September 1st.  My father was in a severe motorbike accident in mid September and died.

My friends, my family of choice stepped in immediately.  There were cats to take care of and a me to get travelled around Ontario to deal with everything from attending services to cleaning out a house.  I truly saw the blessings in my world as I walked through the grief and terror and shock of losing family so close together.  My father and I had just been rebuilding our rocky relationship slowly and that's a journey of grief that I'm sure I will be travelling for a while.

On the other side of life - I took more time for me this year...going South on a cruise in late April, then going to Cozumel for a week after my dad passed.  More recently I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to travel to St. Thomas in early December.  During my weeks away, the ex was supportive and encouraging of my need for self-care and my friends - once again - stepped in for pet duty and furniture assembly!!

It's been a rocky year that I'm pleased to see the last of.

This year will bring more attention to my vivofit... assessing the desire to renew some and acquire more acquaintance type relationships....clearning out and tackling some ACOA issues (likely a meeting or two)... and continuing on working with my primary care providers around my physical and mental well being.  I hope to spend some time examinig career options and determining where I'm supposed to be next.
I plan to continue to travel south (the light and ocean are good for me)

And I plan to journal once daily. (we'll see how long that lasts)

Welcome back world, welcome New Year.

Random day

Feb. 11th, 2012 09:03 am
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
Is not sure how the day is going to shape up yet.
I have to pick up a parcel from the post office that I apparently paid to expedite somehow!!
Have to return the (damn near) 200$ blender that got purchased last Saturday to Sears and hope they give me new one!
Then Ikea is on the list - I have a waterproof mattress liner to exchange, then it's off to Hamilton for a bellydance performance.

I may or may not have a dinner date for that. The original appears to have flaked off, so I"ve invited another new friend to join me. I've reserved 2 tickets so....

Meanwhile, in other TO DO things, there is laundry, vacume, swim, and I brought home a plethora of WORK to do.

It's shaping up to be an expensive month already, and I just found out Madonna tickets go on sale on Monday!!! I'd love to see her live, and am thinking that I could take Katina!
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
It's been a while.
And the kybooard fightisnot woth it..argggg

is still

Sep. 20th, 2011 09:26 pm
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
alive out here.

Pondering the need to start journalling again...does thinking about it get me one step closer to doing it?

Here's hoping.

*hugs* to all
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
A decent sleeping bag.

I simply can't justify buying one. Hoping for something that can handle a decent temperature drop.

If you are willing to lend for 2 weeks, please let me know!

locus_ofcontro: (Default)
So far today I have:

Called and wished my daughter a HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY

Ordered parts for Ty

Re-posted the kitchen table on Criags List & Kijiji

Rearranged Kat's bedroom

Found Kat's bedroom Floor

Found Living Room floor

Found my bedroom floor

vacumed said floors

treated stains on L/R floor from repetively sick cat

moved the plants that said cat keeps eating, outside

am charging the drill

emptyed and reloaded dishwasher

put away 3 baskets of clean laundry

started more laundry

had breakfast

played on FB

read LJ

put up wall sconces in my room

finish laundry

vacume front entryway

cats box

clean kitchen

clean laundry room

clean bathrooms

sort receipts for taxes



Mar. 6th, 2011 10:29 pm
locus_ofcontro: (RANTING)
is sick.

Obtained plague from child.  Have to try to be well enough for work tomorrow - to clean up a situation from Friday.

Fell asleep in bathtub.  Now to try to sleep on couch.  Upright is better for sinus drainage...

All ick all the time....hate this...


Jan. 3rd, 2011 12:37 pm
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
I'm Home
And back to work either Tomorrow or Wed...

I don't remember!!!
locus_ofcontro: (Default)

I know it's last minute - I am  headed out of town today coming back by Wednesday most likely.

Any one available/willing to feed the kitties?  I'll bring you keys.

locus_ofcontro: (Quit It)
So I wonder how few hours I can work in a month?
Seems I might be trying to find out.


Between the move last week, the cold, and rolling waves of fever, I got back to work for a 1/2 day yesterday.  Came home with fever, slept for 2 hrs then spent time with Kat.

Then I fell over a gate.  Stupid really, but braced and caught myself with my right arm, then as it weakened dropped to my knee.  Really thought it would be my knee that would be sore this morning.  But it's my shoulder and arm.  Moving it hurts like and SOB and brings tears to my eyes.  I can type, cause that's fine motor and hand/wrist, but raising my arm is not happening.

Went to urgent care, Dr thinks it's most likely separated ligaments in the shoulder.  The X-Ray showed no breaks, or cracks, and I have an ultrasound scheduled for Monday @ 10:00am.

Why does this interfere with work?  I can't drive to get there!!  I emailed my boss, and suggested that someone deliver my computer, and I could get some recording done.  Here's hoping.


I wonder..

Sep. 17th, 2010 04:30 am
locus_ofcontro: (RANTING)
if being awake right now is as bad a sign as I think it is...

stuffy, headache, sore throat.... *grrrrrr*
locus_ofcontro: (RANTING)
My head hurts...most likely weather pressure
too much aura to drive
too much aura to see much

Got up, showered, dressed and made it as far as my couch.  Slept.
Got up.  Coffee.  Slept
Got up.  Talk to Mortgage broker.
Call more utilities to cancel service
Call moving/storage people to confirm dates.

Hungry, but nausea present as I eat?

chills, mild sore throat.... notice minor swelling of left throat lymph node early yesterday morning...

use LOTS of energy resources when I'm in...."clinical" mode for lack of a better word....

Love my  friends. 

Lovely dinner last night.... looking forward to more time.

going back to bed.
locus_ofcontro: (Messed Up)
Dead Raccoons are fine....dead beavers make me sad. I always want to stop and pull them off the side of the road.

House has a sale offer with conditions... Still showing (in case another offer comes in that is better) but I'm happy with the one on the table.
Have to decide what to do now.....

Rent?  Condo?  Buy another house?
Wanna look at going back for my Master's next fall....might be the last time I have the funds to do so...

Stressing cause I'm not stressing...hahaha

No real plans for today....maybe anoher day where I go hunt water with the kidlet...

anyone wanna find a beach with me?
locus_ofcontro: (Satiated & satisfied)
I likes it...

150 Queen St. S. unit 402

Lots of windows...bright and shiny.

List 194,900

Condo fee is gross at 610.66   Heat, Water, Maintenance, Inside Parking, Storage, Snow Removalincludes. Heat, Water, Maintenance, Inside Parking, Storage, Snow Removalheat, water, maintenance, snow removal, underground parking, storage

however, has central vac, in unit laundry...and an entire wall of windows, with glasses in sunporch.

it's worth doing the numbers.  The condo fee, might cut me out.

Any offer I make out would be conditional on selling this place.
No bids/interest on this yet.  I will price out carpets on the weekend.

Apparantly there's been a few sales in that building recently....most likely due to the increase in condo fees, talked to a few is only paying just over 400...  They are starting to save up cash and are slowly increasing fees, because the know that the central forced air units will need to be replaced over hte next 5 years.

I suspect this condo fee is the top of the end where they are headed with other people's fees.
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
in no particular order...

@[ profile] grail76  I don't watch TV actually...but I do watch series... I am currently on Season 2 of Bones, in the past 4 months, I have gone through HOUSE, WEEDS, COUGARTOWN, FLASHPOINT...and probably a few other individual episodes of things while I find my next fix...

@ [ profile] the_emi  I am reading more things than my  brain can keep track off.  Floating around the house and the office at easy hand right now, are MACLEAN's newest issue (about teenage girls), Signs of Safety (child protection stuff), Opening UP (polyamoury stuff), Giving the Love that Heals (self help/parenting stuff), Artemis Fowl (fun stuff), B'haillakua (sp?  religious introduction to Ba'Hai)...

@ [ profile] pundigrion  oh dear...born in Peterborough, Ontario....lived there for a little while, moved to Lansdowne Ontario (east of Gananoque), back to Peterborogh (bounced around in Kindergarten and Grade 3), moved to Kingston at 16 to live with  my dad, then to Gananoque with him.  Went to University in Hamilton, lived there during the school year, and bounced from military bases, and parent's houses when I wasn't in school.  Worked at Quebec City, Halifax, CFB Borden, Victoria BC, Chiliwack BC during that time frame.  Lived in East Lansing Michigan after I was married, then came back to Hamilton. Then went to London ON, back to Hamilton, and now am in Waterloo.....*whew*

@ [ profile] elricthescribe wow, that's tough.  I don't know that I could pick anything that had the "most" impact on who I have turned out to be...perhaps that is because I am not sure who I am....  There are people and situations who I could say have had influence.. How about I give you those?
Mr Jim Glynn - a teacher from 2 of the public schools I attended.  Mrs Heatherington - another teacher who tied my left hand behind my back because left-handed people were unlucky.  A professor who taught criminology at McMaster and chewed tobacco at the front of the class.  A judge who ignored what I had to say.  Dr. Nahum Spinner who worked in the Schizophrenic ward AND worked at the jail - who I was lucky enough to shadow and taught me about PEOPLE.   A man I once trusted in a car, on a side road  - with his fingers in my hair.  Wondering who was "behind the glass" during a counselling session with my family.  My daughter.
I think I could go on....  but I'd rather not.
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask about anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, if there's anything you've ever wondered or been curious about or meant to ask me, etc. Re-post this in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other.


Apr. 22nd, 2010 08:43 pm
locus_ofcontro: (Quit It)
are killing me...

getting into the walk in was interesting due to the fire at Univeristy plaza.

I walked out 3 hrs later with anti-biotics and 2 puffers...

My head is so sore I can't see straight. The only place I feel human is in the shower!!!


Almost done

Apr. 8th, 2010 10:05 pm
locus_ofcontro: (Satiated & satisfied)
every thing i need to do, in order to disappear to a beach with a pina colada!!

Off to florida tomorrow!!

Stay safe and sane y'all
locus_ofcontro: (Work)
The members of CUPE Local xxxx would like to take this opportunity to share with the Board of Directors the impact the most recent round of funding cuts by the Ministry and the decisions made by this board has had on the membership and the families that we serve.

In 2005/2006 the vision for the Ontario Child Welfare system reform was articulated by the Ministry’s Child Welfare Secretariat was that child welfare will be outcome-focused, balanced in its service approach, evidence-based, accountable and integrated, and sustainable and flexible. The seven areas of focus at that time was to transform Child Welfare into a preventative system, rather than a reactive system included the following: implementation of a Single Information System, an early focus on permanency for children, implementation of a differential response model, accountability to clients, the Multi-Year Results-Based Plan (a new funding model), research, and court processes.

The OACAS Funding Framework Committee worked closely with MCYS in an advisory capacity during the developmental phase of the new Funding Model. The committee submitted a response to this funding model in October 2005 to provide further advice and feedback to the Ministry. OACAS noted that that the problems and issues outlined its submission, if left unattended, will have an impact on the viability of agencies and their capability to deliver the mandated services.

OACAS has continued to advocate for funding stability and sufficiency for members. A submission was made to the Standing Committee on Finance and Economic Affairs during their annual pre-budget consultations to provide them with the facts and the context judged to be important when considering the OACAS ANNUAL REPORT 2005/2006 and the budget for child welfare for 2006/2007 and beyond.

The anticipated and recommended funding formula that was crucial to the sustainability of a preventative Child Welfare model has not been implemented by the MCYS resulting in the impacts anticipated by OACAS in 2005. Since October 2009, CAS's across Ontario have operated under a collective budget deficit of approximately $67 million at 37 agencies. Recently, Children and Youth minister Laurel Broten announced $22.5 million in 'mitigation' funding for 26 agencies. This funding provides only a stop-gap and leaves agencies considering program closures in order to address ongoing and compounding funding shortfalls. CAS agencies need stable long term funding to be able to protect children.

The implementation of the Ministry's transformtion agenda resulted in many changes to the way in which we service our cients While many of these changes have been positive for chidren and families, there have also been many problem areas that are now high-lighted by a funding formula that, in our view is devastatingly flawed and does not allow sufficient funds to deal with our Agency's current reality.


Members of CUPE xxxx are very proud of their role in the development of the Differential Response model implemented across Ontario Children's Aid Societies. Many of the now mandated programs in Ontario were strategies that members already used to support their families and protect the children within their community. These efforts were encouraged and supported by a management that often found the monies to support these vital programs in a funding environment that did not value the services and programs being provided. Even after the programs implemented by the membership became required for other agency's the management at ABC continued to place value on these programs despite the ongoing delays to changes in the funding formula which would reflect the new preventative measures of Differential Response.

The increased documentation and administrative requirements as a result of increased Ministry standards have made it harder for us to spend actual time with the clients that we support particularly in view of the new requirements regarding frequency of client contact. We recognize that the current economic climate, however we know first-hand that when the economy takes a downturn, our services to children and families become even more crucial. The preventative involvement with families is being lost, and members are again responding in reactive fashions due to time constraints, work loads, and a decrease in services that are available to support families in crisis.

The brothers and sisters who work as front line staff in a community experiencing greater job and housing loss, increased addictions and increases in domestic violence see their reduced capacity to spend time with families working through the immediate crisis, and being forced to make decisions that are impacted by an increased pressure from workload and Ministry timelines. In many cases, front line members are turning to Community Partners for support to find that many programs are no longer offered, resulting in fewer and fewer supports for at-risk children in the community. These members are turning internally to access the skills of the Family Support Unit and making more referrals to programs offered by the agency, including parenting programs.

The Family Support Unit, often referred to as the Family Preservation Unit is an integral element of the preventative work at this agency. This department is instrumental in keeping at-risk children in their homes. This close knit team of highy skilled workers, enter the homes of some our neediest families and provide them with support, encouragement, skills, and a sense of self-esteem and capability that primes the family for success. The supportive relationship that these members are able to build with the families they work with is fundamental to the program. A supportive relationship is something that develops with time, regular connections and worker availability to meet the families needs. Loss of members in this program results in workers who are less available, reduced connections and less committed time to the high risk families that need the in-depth support to address their issues and prevent their children coming into Foster Care.

Since the implementation of Differential Response, Front Line workers have sent more high-risk cases to this program in accordance with Ministry requirements that all preventative efforts are made to keep children out of Foster Care. As a result, the work in the Family Support Unit case loads have doubled. In the past, a member could spend upwards of 6 or more hours with a family per week. Due to increased case loads and fewer staff, this time commitment is no longer feasible. The result is that prevention work is often overshadowed by crisis management. Cases stay open longer. The intensive nature of the program as a prevention or reintegration measure is jeopardized. As the waiting list increases, families are not receiving the support they need to stabilize in the middle of the crisis which is the most effective opportunity for change in a family system. This all comes at a time when other services in the community and within the agency are being cut as well. As a result of less supports available to our high needs families, more children will either remain at risk for greater periods of time or will be brought into the Foster Care system.

Our children in care and the Foster Homes that support them are being increasingly effected by the funding cuts. Pressure is being put on foster families to increase their involvement and personal expenditures in working with our high risk children and youth. With the quality work that our membership does to keep children out of Foster Care, those that are apprehended and brought through the Court system tend to have high needs and be children who require strong proactive parenting and resources. Our foster parents are adapting to a new breed of children in care and continuing their quality service, but with the increased demands of front line and children's services members, they have less and less regular connection to the activities that are affectng the child in their homes long term life. The changes in the access to Volunteer drivers is also having a profound affect on children and foster families. Putting children's connections to their comunities and families at risk due to a lack of available resources.

As caseloads and Ministry demands for increased documentation, and information flow increase, the need for a stable and organized administrative and information technology system department becomes greater. The restructuring of the members of our administration department that is currently underway to create greater flexibility within the environment is supported by the members as a necessary change for agency sustainability.

Management has frequently requested feedback from the membership on methods of addressing the fiscal concerns plaguing all Children's Aid Society's and indicated that this feedback would be taken into consideration. The members of the Information Technology department have been developing strategies and planning for methods of generating revenue for the agency, a strategy endorsed by Management recently. However, with the current reduction in IT staff, resulting in the need for less available members to manage the IT needs of the entire agency it seems unlikely that the resources will be available to regularly follow through on these revenue generating possibilities.

Perhaps it is a communication issue. Some decisions that are made seem quite baffling when no explanation is given, for example: the promotion of an admininistrative assistant to a supervisory position, seems to contradict the message of fiscal responsibility put forth by management. It is understandable that management is under no obligation to explain their decisions to the membership, but when we see corporate supervisors with no staff to supervise and with seemingly overlapping responsibilities and duties, perhaps the membership would benefit from some hearing some of the rationale behind management's decisions.

The brothers and sisters of CUPE Local xxxx want to provide quality service to the families and children that we serve in the community of ABC. In order to continue to keep at-risk chidren in their homes, resources must be prioritized to meet families needs. Increased workloads, decreased programming, and a plummeting morale has a profound effect on worker retention, attrition, and well-being, all of which cost the agency money. Reducing stress, stabilizing and managing workloads are the only solution to ensuring quality service to the families in our community.


locus_ofcontro: (Default)

January 2015



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