locus_ofcontro: (Faith and Rants)
locus_ofcontrol ([personal profile] locus_ofcontro) wrote2007-07-04 08:18 pm
Entry tags:

Challenges in Parenting

So, I know I'm falling down on being an effective mom right now. I don't have sufficient resources to use my own self-discipline on myself, let alone extend that to K. I am not eating properly. Picking up after myself. Preparing meals. All the things I was doing so well with for a while, earlier on after [livejournal.com profile] zagatto left have fallen by the wayside. I simply can not bring myself to the space where I care!

I don't care whether or not I have lunch. I don't care if my food choices are healthy. I don't care if I step over the same piece of paper on the floor several times. I don't care whether or not I prepare a meal for her.

This is the space where I know that I'm falling into a depression and I can see it coming a mile away. I have a Dr. appt on Monday where the discussion will be a formal increase in my meds (I've been managing on my own on an increased dose due to having extra's on hand), and something to help me sleep. I also need to call my EAP and get an appt. booked in order to lay the ground work for what I can see is coming.

The slippery slope into the abyss is yawing wide before me. I keep trying to turn my head but it continues to mock me at the corner of my eye.

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