where to start

Journaling huh? They always tell you to journal. When you're depressed, stressed or generally burnt out they always tell you to keep a journal. I have the best intentions in the world for that but I never seem to follow through. The choice between turning out the light or picking up a pen inevitably results in darkness. But my friends are all doing it. The people I care about take the time to share their lives on-line. Sometimes with more dedication then they share their lives with me... Wow..what's vulnerable about that? Everything.

So what draws me to a journal now.? So many things. Mostly shoulds that I am avoiding and self-criticisms I need to voice. And more then one or two insecurities. Katina is finally asleep. I hate having to be the heavy with her but she's at the stage where she's discovering that she can express and try to to impose her will. Poor kid. But her journal is elsewhere. This one is for my insecurities... Not hers. Oh wait..I guess that means I do have thoughts about life beyond my daughter...

What am I chewing on right now?? Dancing...More specifically Teaching Dancing. I want to run a basic beginner's class. For many reasons and I have so many things to do to prepare for one... I don't even know where to start. I feel like I am cheating my current students as it is, by not practicing more, not studying more...Not being more involved... I am SO STUCK. This damn rut of incapability... And fear... Here's one...Hafla is coming up... I will go, I'd love to ask to stay over.. and I'm scared to. Whatever... That's a whole other conversation.. probably one I should have with the homeowners...
Wow...Babbling could get addictive.... I can see some serious stream of consciousness happening here...

Cool.