meanderings & wonderings

Wow...It's been a while since I've really written... I'm so conflicted these days I want to write but don't think that I want to make it public...

I'm not dancing enough and I am working too much.   I'm WAY stressed out over Joe losing his job.  I support the business but really think he needs a reliable income in the meantime... Even if it was something P/T or flexible that would allow him to accept any photo opportunities that come up.  I'm not convinced he's taking the whole thing seriously... As for the illness thing, I'm tired of it and turned off by it.  And I know neither of those emotions is exactly "supportive" or "wifely"...
Frankly there's days I'm very grateful that our relationship was never based on sex to begin with it.  I've always blown hot and cold in that department.  I close doors this time of year because I should be getting ready to go away... That was the Navy thing... I have some pretty ingrained patterns from that experience.

What am I doing with my spare time?  JOB HUNTING... I need something in software...or training or both.  Regular hours would be nice.  I'm even ready to consider a commute again.  Actually I've been focussing on the KW area.  There's good computer companies up there...  I need to get back into using my brain again..
The warehouse thing is so over.  Great exercise but I'd rather dance to do that.  I totally CAN'T take on any new classes right now becasue I can't even get a decent break to think about it.  Nor can I rely on getting out of hte office in time to get to a class.  AND THAT SUCKS.  I'm tired all the time and loathe the hours away from Katina.  THAT"S NOT FAIR and frankly - they don't pay me enough for hte stress.  SO...Job hunting...

HEY Computer geek friends..send me postings!!

The worst part of all this is it gives me an excuse to be a bad friend.  I don't call my friends.  I don't make time for them.  I have some friends who I should spend time with that I haven't been making time for.  That's not a good thing.  Because then I get upset when I have no one around when I need someone.  Bah...  I have this picture floating around my head that I wish I could pin down..

 

Hey UNIVERSE... Just quick shaking hte deck already would ya!  Let the cards start to settle now ok... I'm not good at this.