Do I have what it takes....
Sep. 26th, 2005 08:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
locus_ofcontrothat seems to be the questions bouncing around in my head.. Now it
could have a great deal to do with the emotional rollar-coaster I'm
finding myself on lately...but it could be deeper than that.
I look around at my to do list and find myself just wanting to crawl into bed and weep for a week. That includes the work stuff. I should be writing case notes but I'm so physically and emotionally exhausted.. I should be vacuuming again, but Katina is just to bed and it will keep her awake. I should be drafting a new CD, but that involves spending time in the basement....It's like I have an excuse for all the things I'm not getting done all the time.
I know I can be independent. But I also know that it takes me a while to get into my "just do it" frame of mind. I haven't had a chance to get there yet... and once I get started, it seems to get yoinked. This is not the best parent I can be. I am guilty of plugging my girl into media just to get dinner and some dishes done tonight. So much for quality time. I read a statistic recently that children of working parents get less sleep on average than they should due to the lateness of their evenings. Katina was the first one to arrive this morning and the last one to leave. 11 hours of daycare. How can I be so responsible for other people's children when I can't even put my own first??
The fact that I am filling my head with "that damn book" probably isn't making matters any easier. No wonder I'm tired. My brain won't shut up.
I look around at my to do list and find myself just wanting to crawl into bed and weep for a week. That includes the work stuff. I should be writing case notes but I'm so physically and emotionally exhausted.. I should be vacuuming again, but Katina is just to bed and it will keep her awake. I should be drafting a new CD, but that involves spending time in the basement....It's like I have an excuse for all the things I'm not getting done all the time.
I know I can be independent. But I also know that it takes me a while to get into my "just do it" frame of mind. I haven't had a chance to get there yet... and once I get started, it seems to get yoinked. This is not the best parent I can be. I am guilty of plugging my girl into media just to get dinner and some dishes done tonight. So much for quality time. I read a statistic recently that children of working parents get less sleep on average than they should due to the lateness of their evenings. Katina was the first one to arrive this morning and the last one to leave. 11 hours of daycare. How can I be so responsible for other people's children when I can't even put my own first??
The fact that I am filling my head with "that damn book" probably isn't making matters any easier. No wonder I'm tired. My brain won't shut up.
