Feeling Angsty

I am so sick of feeling out of sorts.  It's like I have never have shiny happy feelings anymore.  All I do is mope around, feel sorry for myself and keep myself locked in a stupid trap of depression and misery.  I know all the things I should be doing to get over it, but I seem to lack the motivation to do any of them. 
I'm sitting here being irritated by the smell of the ficus tree, I know NOW the cat has been peeing in the pot.  I think I'm going to have to drag stupid ficus tree outside AGAIN and change the soil AGAIN.  I just did that a few months ago.  Then it was only a suspicion that said cat was peeing in the pot.  NOW I have actually SEEN her.  Damn cat.

Katina and Andrew are running around the house playing swords.  I suspect Katina will be hurt shortly because he's not good at remembering that he's twice her size.

I'm not good with plan changes.  Especially without fair warning. I was really looking forward to some time with safadancer
this afternoon before she went on to KW for New Year's Plans.  I guess in my head, I had hoped we would travel to KW together for Friday
night.  I know she needs time with other friends but it doesn't stop me from feeling jealous and wanting all of her time in Canada to myself....
So now, it looks like driving up to KW on my own (or blowing it off completely which would be childish and stupid) to spend New Years with
people who I am not sure want my company... (that's the stupid self-conscious, self-defeatist attitude that runs around my brain).  I try not to give
it sway but sometimes it comes roaring to the forefront of my head.  Especially when I'm feeling lonely.

Other things... I have an interview booked (HURRAY) with NRCS ... I can't find any information on this company other then from their corporate
website.  I had a great talk with the central library's disability services resource and she gave me some great insight but it's still rather vague.  The
interview is on the 6th and it looks like a nice blend between my corporate background/experience and Social Work training.  Now to sell them on that.

I am hoping to get my rock tumbler out tonight and give it a whirl.  Wish me luck.