Daily OM

Jul. 15th, 2008 10:38 am
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
July 15, 2008

A Bad Habit
Being Hard On Ourselves

One of the key components of human consciousness that most of us need to address and change is our tendency to be hard on ourselves. We do this in ways that are both overt and subtle, and half the work sometimes is recognizing that we are doing it at all. For example, if we find it difficult to graciously accept compliments, this is probably a sign that we tend to be hard on ourselves. Other ways in which we express this tendency include never feeling satisfied with a job well done, always wanting to be and do better, and getting mad at ourselves for getting sick. Getting mad at ourselves at all indicates that we need to rescue ourselves from our learned ability to be unkind to ourselves.

In essence, when we are hard on ourselves, we send our bodies the message that we are not good enough. Whenever we do this, we do damage that will need to be addressed later, and we sap our systems of much-needed energy. Being hard on ourselves is a waste of precious time and energy that we could use in positive ways. To begin to understand how this works, we can think about times when someone made us feel that we weren’t good enough. Even just thinking about it will create an effect in our bodies that doesn’t feel good. We may be used to the feeling, but when we really tune into it, we instinctively know that it is not good for us on any level.

Like any bad habit, being hard on ourselves can be a challenging one to release, but the more we feel the burden it places on us, the more motivated we will be to change. At first, just noticing when we are doing it and how it makes us feel is enough. As our awareness increases, our innate impulse toward health and well-being will be activated, moving us out of danger and into a more positive and more natural relationship with ourselves.
locus_ofcontro: (Work)
May 9, 2008

Remembering To Pause
Beyond Reacting

We have all had the experience of reacting in a way that was less than ideal upon hearing bad news, or being unfairly criticized, or being told something we did not want to hear. This makes sense because when our emotions are triggered, they tend to take center stage, inhibiting our ability to pause before we speak. We may feel compelled to release the tension by expressing ourselves in some way, whether it’s yelling back at the person yelling at us, or rushing to deliver words of comfort to a friend in trouble. However, there is much to be said for teaching ourselves to remember to pause and take a deep breath before we respond to the shocks and insults that can come our way in life.

For one thing, our initial response is not always what’s best for us, or for the other people involved. Reacting to childish rage with childish rage will only escalate the negativity in a situation, further ensnaring us in an undesirable dynamic. Similarly, when we react defensively, or simply thoughtlessly, we often end up feeling regret over our words or actions. In the end, we save ourselves a lot of pain when we take a deep breath and really tune in to ourselves, and the other person, before we respond. This doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t say anything, although in some cases, that may be the best option.

Some situations require a fairly immediate response, but even just a moment of grounding ourselves before we do so can help enormously. The next time you find yourself wanting to react, try to pause, and in that pause, take a deep breath. Feel your feet on the floor, the air on your skin, and listen for a response to arise within you, rather than just going with the first thing that pops into your head. You may find that in that moment, there is the potential to move beyond reaction and into the more subtle and creative realm of response, where something new can happen.


*friszin'*

Can I have a do-over please?
locus_ofcontro: (Longing & Angst)
March 23, 2008
Answers In History
Virgo Daily Horoscope

Your introspective nature may exert itself today. You may feel inclined to reflect upon your past and examine how the decisions you made in your childhood and young adulthood have affected you. Your self-awareness may flourish as you strive to use your knowledge of your past to build a more rewarding future. You may discover that issues you thought were inconsequential have been keeping you from reaching your full potential or that past experiences can tell you much about the path you should follow. If you have difficulty accessing your past, reading old journals or looking at photographs from your earlier life can help you see into your personal history. What you learn today may help you overcome obstacles that have held you back.

Delving into your past can give you valuable insights into your present and the future path you will find most fulfilling. Our personal histories are abounding with knowledge born of experience that can help us understand our preferences and our dreams. When you reflect upon where you’ve been and what you’ve done, you can analyze the results of your past actions and use your discoveries to guide you as you move through life. Past mistakes can help you avoid making similar blunders. Likewise, when you know what has brought you satisfaction in the past, it becomes easier to envision a future that will bring you happiness and personal contentment. When you look backward today, the motivations that guide you and the experiences that have shaped you will be revealed.
locus_ofcontro: (Open)
March 19, 2008

Your Wellspring Of Energy A Stress-Free Home

Sometimes our lives are so busy that we treat our homes as if they were impersonal places that we merely pass through. But we can make certain that our homes truly feel like our sanctuaries by taking the time to tend to them like gardens, which need care in order to offer us the beauty of their blooms. When we take the time to treat our homes like beloved treasures, we can shift their energy from being merely places to being wellsprings for the replenishment of our energy.

Consider that homes are the outer reflections of those who live within. If we feel that the current appearance clashes with how we’d like to see ourselves, it can keep us from fully allowing our light to shine. Updating our homes to reflect our inner landscape need not involve massive redecorating or a large outlay of money. Small things can make a big difference, like simply moving items so that we constantly gaze upon the things we love the most, liberating the treasures we’ve hidden in our closets, using our best dishes and making small repairs. Organizing and cleaning is a no-cost way to remove chaos from our homes and introduce more calm. Lovingly rejuvenating our personal space can become a creative project that increases the flow of good throughout all aspects of our lives and increases our feeling of connection. We can give old things new life by donating them to charity, opening space for newness to enter. Removing stress from our homes can be as simple as putting o!ur bills into pretty boxes and choosing a specific time to deal with them, or removing clutter so that we and our energy can move freely throughout our space.

Simplifying our space lets our imagination and energy roam free. We can choose to prioritize our homes, making them the true heart of our family’s activities. Then we are free to focus on what really matters—time to ourselves, to share with loved ones, and to replenish our energy so that we have more to share with each other and with the world.
locus_ofcontro: (Faith and Rants)
January 31, 2008

Not Alone In The Dar
kLooking At What We Don’t Want To See

It is one of life's great paradoxes that the things we don't want to look at in ourselves are the very things we need to look at in order to know ourselves better and to become more fully who we are. The feelings that make us want to run away are buried treasure full of energy and inspiration if we are willing to look. These feelings come in many forms, from strange images or snippets of information to recurring dreams and feelings that rise up seemingly without a reason. Whatever shape they come in, and no matter how scary they seem, these messengers bring the information we need in order to grow.

When we are tired of pushing something down, or trying to run away from it, a good first step is to write down what we think we are avoiding. Often this turns out to be only the surface of the issue or a symbol of something else. Expressing ourselves fully on paper is a safe way to begin exploring the murky territory of the unconscious. The coolness of the intellect can give us the distance we need to read what we have written and feel less afraid of it. It helps if we remember that no matter how dark or negative our thoughts or feelings may be, these are energies shared by all humanity. We are not alone in the dark, and all the gurus and teachers we admire had to go through their own unprocessed emotional territory in order to come out the other side brighter and wiser. This can give us the courage we need to open the treasure chest of what we have been avoiding.

Within the parts of ourselves that we don't want to look at, there are emotions that need to be felt. Unfelt emotions are stuck energy, and when we leave emotions unprocessed, we deprive ourselves of access to that energy. When we feel strong enough, we can begin the process of feeling those emotions, on our own or with guidance from a spiritual counselor. It is through this work that the buried treasure of energy and inspiration will pour forth from our hearts, giving us the courage to look at all the parts of ourselves with insight and compassion.
locus_ofcontro: (Default)
September 8, 2006

Alive In Joy
Dispelling Drama

There are scores of people in the world who seem to be magnets for calamity.
They live their lives jumping from one difficult situation to the next,
surrounded by unstable individuals. Some believe themselves victims of fate and
decry a universe they regard as malevolen
t. Others view their chaotic
circumstances as just punishments for some failing within. Yet, in truth,
neither group has been fated or consigned to suffer. They are likely
unconsciously drawing drama into their lives, attracting catastrophe through
their choices, attitudes, and patterns of thought. Drama, however disastrous,
can be exciting and stimulating. But the thrill of pandemonium eventually begins
to frustrate the soul and drain the energy of all who embrace it. To halt this
process, we must understand the root of our drama addiction, be aware of our
reactions, and be willing to accept that a serene, joyful life need not be a
boring one.

Many people, so used to living in the dramatic world they create, feel
uncomfortable when confronted with the prospect of a lifetime of peace and
contentment. The drama in their lives serves multiple purposes. Upset causes
excitement, prompting the body to manufacture adrenaline, which produces a
pleasurable surge of energy. For those seeking affection in the form of
sympathy, drama forms the basis of their identity as a victim.
And when drama is
familial, many people believe they can avoid abandonment by continuing to play a
key role in the established family dynamic. The addiction to drama is fed by the
intensity of the feelings evoked during bouts of conflict, periods of
uncertainty, and upheaval.


Understanding where the subconscious need for drama stems from is the key to
addressing it effectively.
Journaling can help you transfer this need from your
mind onto a benign piece of paper. After repeated writing sessions, your
feelings regarding the mayhem, hurt feelings, and confusion often associated
with drama become clear. When you confront your emotional response to drama and
the purpose it serves in your life, you can reject it. Each time you consciously
choose not to take part in dramatic situations or associate with dramatic
people, you create space in your inner being that is filled with a calm and
tranquil stillness and becomes an asset in your quest to lead a more centered
life.


Truer words were never spoken.

Daily OM

Aug. 4th, 2006 09:51 am
locus_ofcontro: (Kiki - thinking)
Not only is this the space I live in, I see it regularly in the people I work with. So much of our internal insecurities can be rooted in patterns that started in childhood. Parenting has a long term, intergenerational impact and we owe it to our children to reclaim our own power so we can teach them how to reclaim theirs. And I define success as reclaiming your own personal power. Self-actualization, self-awareness and personal growth are my definitions of success.

Daily OM
Reclaiming Your Power
Insecurity

There is an innate awkwardness to being human. With each decision we make, there is the potential for self-doubt and it is this-self doubt that forms the root of insecurity-a complex emotion that is a mix of equal parts inadequacy, isolation,fear, and hopelessness. Yet these feelings of insecurity that prevent us from fulfilling our potential by inducing us to abide by arbitrary self-limitations are nothing more than erroneous perceptions. We feel unconfident and unsure of ourselves because we judge ourselves to be so.

Banishing insecurity is often simply a matter of challenging ourselves in order to prove that we are indeed intelligent and able. When we feel insecure, we not only perceive ourselves as incapable of meeting life's challenges but also fraudulent and unworthy of true happiness. We move through life plagued by a sense that others have judged us and found that we are lacking. As a result, we are robbed of our personal power and rendered unable to feel positive about the choices we make. Everyone feels insecure from time to time because each of us is born into the world with unique strengths.

If you should find yourself with feelings of insecurity, however, endeavor to understand its source. Perhaps you were repeatedly berated as a child or seldom receive positive reinforcement in the present. A tendency to withdraw from risk or uncomfortable situations can amplify feelings of insecurity. When you have pinpointed the origin of your insecurity, focus on your abilities. The more you utilize your personal power-by taking risks, boldly facing challenges, and acting decisively-the stronger it will grow.  Remember that insecurity is not objective. Rather, it is an emotional interpretation of your value unconsciously based on doubt, shame, and fear. As you overcome those underlying emotions through courageous action and copious self-love, you'll discover that you are capable of achieving more than you ever thought possible.
locus_ofcontro: (Johnny The Homicidal Mania)
July 28, 2006 You Are Not Crazy

Most of us feel a little crazy from time to time. Periods of high stress can make us feel like we're losing it, as can being surrounded by people whose values are very different from our own. Losing a significant relationship and moving into a new life situation are other events that can cause us to feel off kilter. Circumstances like these recur in our lives, and they naturally affect our mental stability. The symptoms of our state of mind can range from having no recollection of putting our car keys where we eventually find them, to wondering if we're seeing things clearly when everyone around us seems to be in denial of what's going on right in front of their eyes. For most of us, the key to survival at times like these is to step back, take a deep breath, and regain our composure. Then we can decide what course of action to take.

Sometimes a time-out does the trick. We take a day off from whatever is making us feel crazy and, like magic, we feel in our right mind again. Talking to an objective friend can also help. We begin to see what it is about the situation that destabilizes us, and we can make changes from there. At other times, if the situation is particularly sticky, we may need to seek professional help. Meeting with someone who understands the way the human mind reacts to stress, loss, and difficulty can make us feel less alone and more supported. A therapist or a spiritual counselor can give us techniques that help bring us back to a sane state of mind so that we can affect useful changes. They can also mirror our basic goodness, helping us to see that we are actually okay. The main purpose of the wake-up call that feeling crazy provides is to let us know that something in our lives is out of balance. Confirm for yourself that you are capable of creating a sane and peaceful reality for yourself. Try to remember that most people have felt, at one time or another, that they are losing it. You deserve a life that helps you thrive. Try and take some steps today to help you achieve more balance and a little less crazy.

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